The Paradox of Connection: Letting Go to Truly Belong

Who Are They? Who Are You?

If you're reading this through Facebook, I assume we're still friends... or are we?

How do we know each other? In the endless stream of friend requests and follows, I—maybe like you—lost track of the people I truly knew on a deeper level. What happened to the friends and family I used to hug, laugh with, and see often?

I left them.

In search of something else—new experiences, new places—I slowly lost contact with the very people who shaped me. They made me who I am. It’s almost like a leaf leaving the tree in search of greener fields, floating with the wind… but in doing so, it loses the very roots that gave it life.

Who are these faces on Facebook? And what “book” are we reading from that’s quietly pushing us apart?

We no longer see real faces. We no longer read real stories. The book of faces became a massive web of names—somehow giving the illusion of community, but rarely the reality.

I started asking myself: What are their last names? Who are their parents? When was the last time I hugged them?

If I can't answer some—or any—of these questions, what does that say about our "friendship"?

So, I made a choice. Not out of judgment. Not out of anger. But out of a longing for something real. I began removing names from my list. Because having a long list of strangers doesn’t make sense to my heart.

I miss real conversations. I miss laughing with friends, sharing stories with cousins, asking for advice when life feels heavy, and being present for people I truly care about—and who care about me.

In our pursuit of connection, we somehow ended up disconnected—from community, from family, from ourselves. So now what?

An inspiration came to me: Start where the faces feel familiar again. Reduce the number of unfamiliar names in the “book of faces.” Do I really know the 2,000+ "friends" on my social media? If I don’t know their parents’ names…If we’ve never shared a deep conversation under the stars…Then maybe it’s time to let go. Not to reject them, but to free them—to reconnect with their own people. And to make space in my life for mine.

In the end, we all win. I return to my roots, to the ones I laughed with and truly knew. They find space for the connections that matter to them.

It's a strange paradox, but true: By disconnecting from people we're not truly connected to, we can finally connect with those who matter most. We let go to truly belong!